I am posting this to all the blogs so I apologize in advance if you read all four :)
This week (Thursday to be exact) is the 4 year anniversary of the day we lost our son and were forced to live the rest of our lives without him. I hope you will take a moment to read the following excerpt of his journal, which we found after his death.
How I see it.....
Todd Louis Peck II, February 2005
My intention in this journal is to record as best as possible the spiritual warfare surrounding my recent relapse of cancer so that I may later remember the lessons learned and perhaps share them with others. In fact, sharing the lessons is actually the bigger of my two reasons. My greatest hope is that through my fight and this record of it, others will be equipped and encouraged to take the fight to the Enemy. I believe that all of life is a war fought over the souls of each individual and everything that happens in life somehow fits into this war, whether we know it or not. So when hardships and trials come they ought to be viewed as Enemy attacks and dealt with accordingly.
In war, the purpose of any attack is, of course, to gain some sort of advantage that will in some way bring you nearer ultimate victory. Rather, that sought after advantage is the destruction of some threat which the other has or the gaining of a position that leaves you a better position to threaten the other. The point is always to somehow harm the other's overall position in the great scheme of things.
Thus, this relapse of cancer that God allowed was and is inteneded by the Enemy to somehow gain him something. That something, in this case, is porobably to neutralize what the Enemy's high command perceives as a danger to their war efforts.
That threat may or may not be me (thought I like ot flatter myself that it is) but the fact is that, for whatever reason, I seem to have been chosen as the main point of attack. I therefore, as a soldier in the King's Army, have responsibility to stand and fight to make sure that the Enemy gains not an inch. For it is my (and every soldier's) duty to even turn this attack to the advantage of the Cause and the glory of the King.
This whole thing reasches far beyond me, however. It reaches into my family and into my church and community. I am just on fect of what is a large and complex battle being fought in this small theater of operation called West Michigan. The full extent of this larger fight I will not ever be able to fully comprehend this side of Heaven. Nor will I likely ever understand the extent to which my own standing or falling will influence the larger picture but I will stand!
Indeed, I am resolved to not just stand, but advance! I may be a small part of a huge batle but I will press my influence to its limits for the sake of the Cause.
Lord, have mercy if I should be cut down (i.e. if I allow the Enemy to get the better of me) fo rthe greater the effort, the greater the defeat in the case of failure. But by the grace of God, I shall not fail! As He wills, so may it be. Amen.
I miss you so much Todd!!! I can't believe it's been 4 years. You would have been 22 this coming August. I suppose time doesn't move the same way in heaven but 4 years without you is an eternity to us.